"There have been many most excellent poets that have never versified, and now swarm many versifiers that need never answer to the name of poets."
Sir Philip Sidney
"A glorious Church is like a magnificent feast; there is all the variety that may be, but every one chooses out a dish or two that he likes, and lets the rest alone."
"So, Nat'ralists observe, a Flea
Hath smaller Fleas that on him prey,
And these have smaller yet to bite 'em,
And so proceed ad infinitum:
Thus ev'ry Poet, in his Kind
Is bit by him that comes behind."
, on the invention of the microscope
"Either this wallpaper goes or I do."
Irish writer and wit
, last words?
"The piano is the social instrument par excellence... drawing-room furniture, a sign of bourgeois prosperity, the most massive of the devices by which the young are tortured in the name of education and the grown-up in the name of entertainment."
"He just sat there watching me, and then he walked right up and kissed me."
, on how she met her husband, Michael O'Shea
"Tremendous amounts of talent are being lost to our society just because that talent wears a skirt."
US Rep (NY)
"Even if Scrabble had been invented then, I wouldn't have wanted to play Scrabble, because the highest triple word score in the world would not have expressed how much I liked the game Natalie and I played every afternoon."
"I am sure I will feel at home in the Bahamas. I've been involved in gambling in the Bahamas. I've been involved in gambling in Nevada and I've been involved in banking." *
US Ambassador (Bahamas)
, on his qualifications for the job
"There is a young and impressionable mind out there that is hungry for information. It has latched on to an electronic tube as its main source of nourishment."
Joan Ganz Cooney
US TV producer
"Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?"
US ageless celebrity
"If I can go from burglar for the government to talk show host, you can go from entertainer to congressman."
G. Gordon Liddy
US political operative
, to Sonny Bono
"Sex is boring unless you're doing it."
Sir Ridley Scott
, on why his films don't have sex scenes
"Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths, or the turning inwards in prayer for five short minutes."
Dutch lawyer, writer
("An interrupted Life: The Diaries of Etty Hillesum 1941 -1943")
(died at Auschwitz)
"(Broadway critics) Frank Rich and John Simon are the syphilis and gonorrhea of the theatre."
"If you want to have clean ideas, change them as often as your shirt."
"I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted."
US economist, Harvard president
, on exporting toxic waste to Third World countries
"The biggest misconception people have about me is that I'm stupid."
English singer (Generation X)
"If Sting retires, will he change his name to Stung?"
"Happiness is the sublime moment when you get out of your corsets at night."
English comic, actor
("The Time of My Life: Entertaining the Troops")
"I feel like I'm one of the Simpsons."
, on wearing the same clothing for an entire season for "24"
"No one really knows enough to be a pessimist."
("Modern Man Is Obsolete")
"Young people everywhere have been allowed to choose between love and a garbage disposal unit. Everywhere they have chosen the garbage disposal unit."
"I remember calling up Variety and accusing the Beatles of stealing my look. The woman there said, 'Look, sir, let me tell you something. Their hair is like the Three Stooges, not yours!'"
"Racism is a refuge for the ignorant. It seeks to divide and to destroy. It is the enemy of freedom, and deserves to be met head-on and stamped out."
("The Secret World of Og")
"I think this story sums up my career the best. One time I was walking in an airport somewhere and I saw this woman with her young son. The son looked up at me and it was obvious that he recognized me. He thought for a second and he said 'Mom, there goes an old Gomer.'"
("Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.")
(same dates as George Bush)