"The first man gets the oyster, the second man gets the shell."
Scottish-US industrialist, philanthropist
"I want all hellions to quit puffing that hell fume in God's clean air."
US temperance fanatic
, on smoking
Pope John XXIII
, when asked how many people work in the Vatican
"Both the cockroach and the bird could get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most."
Joseph Wood Krutch
US naturalist, writer
"I've never known a musician who regretted being one. Whatever deceptions life may have in store for you, music itself is not going to let you down."
"Ants are so much like human beings as to be an embarrassment... They do everything but watch television."
US physician, writer
"I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of soft drink."
US baseball player
(was married to Marilyn Monroe)
"I'm not a dictator. It's just that I have a grumpy face."
"I think I had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to sound like a dry martini."
US saxophonist, composer
"I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated."
"If you can't stand the heat, don't go to Cancun in the summer."
US speechwriter, actor, game show host
"Research is an organized method for keeping you reasonably dissatisfied with what you have."
Charles F. Kettering
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."
"To be a good model, I'd need a lot more confidence... and more confidence to be more bare."
"How do you survive Christmas? You drink a lot. And drink a lot, right. Drink a lot and drink a lot."
"If I had my whole life to live over again, I don't think I'd have the strength."
"A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past."