"Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad, and theology makes them sinful."
German religious reformer
"We should take care to lay in a stock of provisions, but not of pleasures: these should be gathered day by day."
Ninon de l'Enclos
"I have generally found that persons who had studied painting least were the best judges of it."
"There is no arguing with him, for if his pistol misses fire, he knocks you down with the butt end of it."
, on Samuel Johnson
"Jazz: Music invented by demons for the torture of imbeciles."
Henry van Dyke
US writer, Presbyterian
"Genius is the recovery of childhood at will."
"Where there is no freedom, there is death and destruction."
Mustafa Kemal Atatürk
Turkish military and political leader
"I lost some time once. It's always in the last place you look for it."
"You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing. So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah."
US comic actor (SNL)
"Whatever else may divide us, Europe is our common home; a common fate has linked us through the centuries, and it continues to link us today."
"A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults."
"You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things."
"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day."
"I'm amazed people read this crap about usabout me most of all."
, on gossip
"The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level."