"Commonly they must use their feet for defense whose only weapon is their tongue."
Sir Philip Sidney
"Love never dies of starvation, but often of indigestion."
Ninon de l'Enclos
Earl of Sandwich: "I am convinced, Mr. Wilkes, that you will die either of a pox or on the gallows."
John Wilkes: "That depends, my lord, on whether I embrace your mistress or your principles."
"American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced."
"Most of teachers have but one object, viz. to draw their salary. I do not think that a teacher should have no salary. But I think they should earn it first and then think of it."
US educator, scout
"Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth or the only truth."
Charles Anderson Dana
US newspaper magnate
"Music exists for the purpose of growing an admirable heart."
Japanese violinist, teacher
"If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder."
Pope John Paul I
"Look, if you're playing Romeo and your Juliet is a pig, you find something you can love about pigs!"
"When we've done itand this sounds like I'm talking about sex, doesn't it?we've done it every way you can."
US actor (SNL,
Better Call Saul)
, on writing songs with his wife
(married to Annette O'Toole)
"God, George Bush makes me want to slash my wrists. He's so embarrassing I have to leave the room when he's on the news. What a monkey."
"I not only get recognizedI get recognized from behind."
"I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, 'what are you, zero?' And I'd go, 'no, I'm one over here!'"
Canadian comic, actor (SNL)
"I don't think people come home from work thinking, 'I want to be shocked and startled.' You want to check in with your favorite characters, and it's nice knowing they're not going to change that much."
Ecuadorian cartoonist (Beavis and Butthead)
, on his show "King of the Hill"
"Don't do drugs, don't have unprotected sex, don't be violent. Leave that to me."
"There is no danger of my getting scurvy [while in England], as I have to consume at least two gin-and-limes every evening to keep the cold out."
S. J. Perelman
("The Beauty Part")
"Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money."
US comic, actor, TV host