"There are no illegitimate childrenonly illegitimate parents." *
Leon Rene Yankwich
US judge (CA)
, decision in Zipkin v. Mozon, June 1928
"The only place in the world where a man can get stabbed in the back while climbing a ladder."
, on Hollywood
"Look, it's my misery that I have to paint this kind of painting, it's your misery that you have to love it, and the price of the misery is thirteen hundred and fifty dollars."
"Never claim as a right what you can ask as a favor."
J. Churton Collins
English literary critic
"Success can make you go one of two ways. It can make you a prima donnaor it can smooth the edges, take away the insecurities, let the nice things come out."
US TV person
"The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing."
"I'm not a big filmophile. I don't watch movies a lot for a hobby. I spend all my time watching sporting events. Because, opposed to movies, you can never tell how they're going to end."
(son of Kirk Douglas;
married to, and same birthday as, Catherine Zeta-Jones)
"I haven't done fillers or Botox for ages. There comes a point where you have to match bits of you with the other bits; otherwise, you get a terribly random situation."
"It's very important to have the right clothing to exercise in. If you throw on an old T-shirt or sweats, it's not inspiring for your workout."
"I have a sneaking suspicion that if there were a way to make movies without actors, George Lucas would do it."
US actor (Star Wars)
"There was this guy wearing a blue scrub hat and a yellow gown and with a Russian accent, being some insane Russian doctor... I laughed for the first time and I knew that life was going to be OK."
, on Robin Williams visiting him in the hospital
"To do exactly as your neighbors do is the only sensible rule."
US etiquette maven
"Lust is the sin that gets me excited. Luckily, because I'm married, I also get really good jewelry out of it."
(was married to Tommy Lee,
"Of all the awards I've received, this is the most recent."
, receiving "Male Star of the Year 2002" award
"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end."
(married to, and same birthday as, Michael Douglas)
"When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again."
US Supreme Court justice
"A painter paints, a musician plays, a writer writesbut a movie actor waits."
"Science fiction encourages us to explore... all the futures, good and bad, that the human mind can envision."
Marion Zimmer Bradley
"The worst thing that can happen to your career is to be shot out in an open field. You've got to be in the right position to die dramatically, against a wall, near something to hang onto. Never close your eyes. Glaze them. You can't go wrong bringing something down with you when you fall. A tablecloth is excellent. Preferably with a meal on it."
, on dying on camera
"I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot."
"I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser."