July 22

"Sir, you have tasted two whole worms; you have hissed all my mystery lectures and been caught fighting a liar in the quad, you will leave Oxford by the next town drain."

Rev. William A. Spooner
(07/22/1844 – 08/29/1930)
English religious lesdyxic

"If you could say it in words there would be no reason to paint."

Edward Hopper
(07/22/1882 – 05/15/1967)
US artist ("Automat")

"Who's Virginia?"

Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
(07/22/1890 – 01/22/1995)
US royalty , on why Ted lived in Virginia while his wife lived in Boston
(was married to Joseph P., mother of John, Robert, and Teddy Kennedy)

"One of the most untruthful things possible, you know, is a collection of facts, because they can be made to appear so many different ways."

Dr. Karl A. Menninger
(07/22/1893 – 07/18/1990)
US scientist, psychologist
(died near his birthday)

"Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the 1000 small uncaring ways."

Stephen Vincent Benet
(07/22/1898 – 03/13/1943)
US writer ("John Brown's Body")

"My fan mail is enormous. Everyone is under six."

Alexander Calder
(07/22/1898 – 11/11/1976)
US sculptor

"Man hoards himself when he has nothing to give away."

Edward Dahlberg
(07/22/1900 – 02/27/1977)
US writer ("The Flea of Sodom. The Sorrows of Priapus")

"Everyone knows that a man can always marry even if he reaches 102, is penniless, and has all his faculties gone. There is always some woman willing to take a chance on him."

Amy Vanderbilt
(07/22/1908 – 12/27/1974)
US etiquette maven

"The wind doesn't bother me. I'm in the U. S. Senate."

Bob Dole
(07/22/1923 – )
US senator (KS), presidential candidate Illustration by Zach Trenholm

"I train religiously."

Sister Madonna Buder
(07/22/1930 – )
US nun and triathlete , on how she manages to stay fit at 70

"If little else, the brain is an educational toy."

Tom Robbins
(07/22/1932 – )
US writer
(Photo courtesy Carl Studna)

"I don't gamble, because winning a hundred dollars doesn't give me great pleasure. But losing a hundred dollars pisses me off."

Alex Trebek
(07/22/1940 – 11/08/2020)
Canadian Jeopardy host

"If you got maggots in your brain, everything you think is gonna be rotten."

George Clinton
(07/22/1941 – )
US singer, funk legend

"I've led a pretty clean life so I've aged pretty well."

Bobby Sherman
(07/22/1943 – )
US singer, actor, policeman

"Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch."

Albert Brooks
(07/22/1947 – )
US actor, writer (SNL)

"Weirdness is not my game. I'm just a square boy from Wisconsin."

Willem Dafoe
(07/22/1955 – )
US actor
(Portrait by Taru Sterling)

"Latins for Republicans. It's like roaches for Raid."

John Leguizamo
(07/22/1964 – )
Colombian comic, actor

"I just couldn't have gone into a room where Chris was in a box."

David Spade
(07/22/1964 – )
US comic actor (SNL) , on missing Chris Farley's funeral
(dated Lara Flynn Boyle)

"I never made a mistake in grammar but one in my life and as soon as I done it I seen it."

Carl Sandburg
(01/06/1878 – 07/22/1967)
US writer ("Chicago Poems")
(uncle of Mary Steichen Calderone)

"If love means never having to say you're sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice."

Estelle Getty
(07/25/1923 – 07/22/2008)
US actor
(died near her birthday)

"I've tried writing. Two days later I'd go visit it and say, Jesus Christ, who wrote this crap?"

Dennis Farina
(02/29/1944 – 07/22/2013)
US actor