July 22

"Sir, you have tasted two whole worms; you have hissed all my mystery lectures and been caught fighting a liar in the quad, you will leave Oxford by the next town drain."

Rev. William A. Spooner
(07/22/1844 – 08/29/1930)
English religious lesdyxic

"If you could say it in words there would be no reason to paint."

Edward Hopper
(07/22/1882 – 05/15/1967)
US artist

"Who's Virginia?"

Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
(07/22/1890 – 01/22/1995)
US royalty (was married to Joseph P., mother of John, Robert, and Teddy Kennedy) , on why Ted lived in Virginia while his wife lived in Boston

"One of the most untruthful things possible, you know, is a collection of facts, because they can be made to appear so many different ways."

Dr. Karl A. Menninger
(07/22/1893 – 07/18/1990)
US scientist, psychologist (died near his birthday)

"Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the 1000 small uncaring ways."

Stephen Vincent Benet
(07/22/1898 – 03/13/1943)
US writer

"My fan mail is enormous. Everyone is under six."

Alexander Calder
(07/22/1898 – 11/11/1976)
US sculptor

"Man hoards himself when he has nothing to give away."

Edward Dahlberg
(07/22/1900 – 02/27/1977)
US writer

"Everyone knows that a man can always marry even if he reaches 102, is penniless, and has all his faculties gone. There is always some woman willing to take a chance on him."

Amy Vanderbilt
(07/22/1908 – 12/27/1974)
US etiquette maven

"The wind doesn't bother me. I'm in the U. S. Senate."

Bob Dole
(07/22/1923 – )
US senator (KS), presidential candidate Illustration by Zach Trenholm

"I train religiously."

Sister Madonna Buder
(07/22/1930 – )
US nun and triathlete , on how she manages to stay fit at 70

"If little else, the brain is an educational toy."

Tom Robbins
(07/22/1932 – )
US writer (Photo courtesy Carl Studna)

"If you got maggots in your brain, everything you think is gonna be rotten."

George Clinton
(07/22/1941 – )
US singer, funk legend

"I've led a pretty clean life so I've aged pretty well."

Bobby Sherman
(07/22/1943 – )
US singer, actor, policeman

"Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch."

Albert Brooks
(07/22/1947 – )
US actor, writer (SNL)

"Weirdness is not my game. I'm just a square boy from Wisconsin."

Willem Dafoe
(07/22/1955 – )
US actor (Portrait by Taru Sterling)

"Latins for Republicans. It's like roaches for Raid."

John Leguizamo
(07/22/1964 – )
Colombian comic, actor

"I just couldn't have gone into a room where Chris was in a box."

David Spade
(07/22/1964 – )
US comic actor (SNL) (dated Lara Flynn Boyle) , on missing Chris Farley's funeral

"I never made a mistake in grammar but one in my life and as soon as I done it I seen it."

Carl Sandburg
(01/06/1878 – 07/22/1967)
US writer (uncle of Mary Steichen Calderone)

"If love means never having to say you're sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice."

Estelle Getty
(07/25/1923 – 07/22/2008)
US actor (died near her birthday)

"I've tried writing. Two days later I'd go visit it and say, Jesus Christ, who wrote this crap?"

Dennis Farina
(02/29/1944 – 07/22/2013)
US actor