"Pluck up thy spirits, man, and be not afraid to do thine office; my neck is very short; take heed therefore thou strike not awry, for saving of thine honesty."
Sir Thomas More
, to his executioner
"Should I have the good fortune to fall in with him again, I'll make a lord of him."
John Paul Jones
US naval officer
, on learning that captain Richard Pearson was knighted after Jones defeated him in battle
"I do not rule Russia; ten thousand clerks do."
Tsar Nicholas I
"When once the itch of literature comes over a man, nothing can cure it but the scratching of a pen. But if you have not a pen, I suppose you must scratch any way you can."
"All colors are the friends of their neighbors and the lovers of their opposites."
"There are still parts of Wales where the only concession to gaiety is a striped shroud."
"I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."
US first lady (47)
(was married to Ronald Reagan)
, when asked a political question at a "Just Say No" rally
"The wrong sort of people are always in power because they would not be in power if they were not the wrong sort of people."
"I've upped my standards. Now, up yours."
US comic, presidential candidate
"It is the restrictions placed on vice by our social code which make its pursuit so peculiarly agreeable."
"Nothing can be further than the truth."
George W. Bush
US traitor, draft dodger, corporate pawn, thief, liar, war criminal,
and alleged President (43)
(son of George and
married to Laura)
"I'm astounded by people who take 18 years to write something. That's how long it took that guy to write 'Madame Bovary,' and was that ever on the best-seller list?"
(was married to Brigitte Nielsen)
"Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."
US writer, mathematician
"If you have to ask, shame on you."
US bandleader, singer, trumpet player, jazz pioneer
, on what Jazz is
"When my time comes, just skin me and put me up there on Trigger, just as though nothing had ever changed."
US actor, singer
"As I recall, the only good notice was in the Saturday Review. The critic said the show possessed 'social comment combined with a high Nielsen, an almost impossible achievement in these days.' I kinda liked that."
US dancer, actor
, on "The Beverly Hillbillies"
"Neither conscience nor sanity itself suggests that the United States is, should or could be the global gendarme."
US secretary of defense
"Someone has remarked that 'An ideal math talk should have one proof and one joke and they should not be the same'."