"He who has provoked the lash of wit, cannot complain that he smarts from it."
"Music is not written in red, white, and blue. It is written in the heart's blood of the composer."
Dame Nellie Melba
Australian opera singer
"All brave men love; for he only is brave who has affections to fight for, whether in the daily battle of life, or in physical contests."
"To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady."
"I do not believe in sex distinction in literature, law, politics, or tradeor that modesty and virtue are more becoming to women than to men, but wish we had more of it everywhere."
"History is a people's memory, and without a memory, man is demoted to the lower animals."
US spiritual leader
"All human beings have an innate need to hear and tell stories and to have a story to live by... religion, whatever else it has done, has provided one of the main ways of meeting this abiding need."
"A friend of mine went to the Alpine Club, and said my larger one (portrait) was a conscious effort by you to show how long contact with camels had affected my face! But I explained that it wasn't my face which had been in contact with camels."
T. E. Lawrence
, to Augustus John
"But, apart from that, there was very little on underneath the suit."
English actor (Star Wars)
"I smash guitars because I like them."
English singer, songwriter, guitarist (the Who)
"Mystics always hope that science will someday overtake them."
"I once told this writer a story about how I met the guys in an elevator and found out we all had the same last name, so we decided to form a band."
US singer (Ramones)
"I did advertise for a holiday companioncapable widow, no sense of humour, some knowledge of haemorrhoids preferrednot a reply."
"I mean, in the eternal scope of things, how much does this matter?"
US baseball player
, on giving up Pete Rose's 4,192nd hit
"If you donít make mistakes, you arenít really trying."
"Friendly attacks should begin with faint praise, but be careful not to use adjectives or phrases of which the publisher can make use in advertisements."
Sir John Betjeman
"A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can't help himself."
"Pilgrims who are looking for a cure are soon looking for a curio."