"I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since."
"The colour of my soul is iron-grey and sad bats wheel about the steeple of my dreams."
"Sports is the toy department of human life."
"Everywhere I go I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."
"Perhaps men should think twice before making widowhood our only path to power."
US feminist, writer
("Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions")
"If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nailbiters."
US pageant contestant, ex-orange juice spokesperson, and general all-around moron
"There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex... People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats."
Sir Elton John
("Goodbye Yellow Brick Road")
"If someone told me they were a 'lesbian sex guru,' I would tell them to get a life."
US lesbian sex guru
("Big Sex, Little Death: A Memoir")
"I loved making 'Rising Sun.' I got into the psychology of why she liked to get strangled and tied up in plastic bags. It has to do with low self-worth."
"I don't know why it is we are in such a hurry to get up when we fall down. You might think we would lie there and rest for a while."
("Great Companions: Critical Memoirs of Some Famous Friends")
"I'd like to be remembered as a guy that came along and did his music, did his best and showed up on time, clean and ready to do the job, wrote a few songs and had a hell of a time."