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"Name me an Emperor who was ever struck by a cannonball."
Charles V
(02/24/1500
09/21/1558)
Roman emperor
"Come live in my heart and pay no rent."
Samuel Lover
(02/24/1797
07/06/1868)
Irish writer
"One of the greatest creations of the human mind is the art of reviewing books without having read them."
Georg C. Lichtenberg
(07/01/1742
02/24/1799)
German writer
"Things were changing fast by that time, women were beginning to come to the ball parks. We had to stop cussing."
Honus Wagner
(02/24/1874
12/06/1955)
US baseball player
"Clothes make the poor invisible. America has the best-dressed poverty the world has ever known."
Michael Harrington
(02/24/1928
07/31/1989)
US writer
"Who ever wins today will win the championship no matter who wins."
Denis Law
(02/24/1940
)
Scottish football player
"Every songwriter lives to have at least one song that a cab driver who asks 'You write anything I know?' will recognize. If I were still touring with that song, my teeth might clench at its mentionbut I've done a lot since then."
Rupert Holmes
(02/24/1947
)
English songwriter
, on 'The Pina Colada Song' (he also wrote "Timothy")
"There are two kinds of music: the blues, and that bullsh*t they play on MTV."
George Thorogood
(02/24/1950
)
US singer, guitarist
"My girlfriend always laughs during sexno matter what she's reading."
Steve Jobs
(02/24/1955
10/05/2011)
US entrepreneur
"The secret of a long life is knowing when it's time to go."
Michelle Shocked
(02/24/1962
)
US singer, songwriter
"Perhaps it is the expediency in the political eye that blinds it."
Virgilia Peterson
(05/16/1904
02/24/1966)
US writer
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
Mitch Hedberg
(02/24/1968
03/30/2005)
US comic
"On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks."
H. Allen Smith
(12/19/1907
02/24/1976)
US writer
"Americans are the most over-entertained people on the face of the earth."
Johnnie Ray
(01/10/1927
02/24/1990)
US singer
"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
George Gobel
(05/20/1919
02/24/1991)
US comedian
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Henny Youngman
(03/16/1906
02/24/1998)
US comedian
"How could you not become radicalized during the Depression? You'd have to be an idiot not to be radical with 17 million unemployed."
John Randolph
(06/01/1915
02/24/2004)
US actor
(blacklisted in the 50s)
"The cutting room is where you discover the optimal length of the movie."
Harold Ramis
(11/21/1944
02/24/2014)
US writer, actor, producer
"Maybe some day they'll find me behind the computer, just bones and cobwebs."
Clive Cussler
(07/15/1931
02/24/2020)
US writer
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