February 24

"Name me an Emperor who was ever struck by a cannonball."

Charles V
(02/24/1500 – 09/21/1558)
Roman emperor

"Come live in my heart and pay no rent."

Samuel Lover
(02/24/1797 – 07/06/1868)
Irish writer ("Songs and Legends of the Irish People")

"One of the greatest creations of the human mind is the art of reviewing books without having read them."

Georg C. Lichtenberg
(07/01/1742 – 02/24/1799)
German writer ("Sudelbücher (Scrapbooks)")

"He is so old that his blood type was discontinued."

George William Curtis
(02/24/1824 – 08/31/1892)
US writer ("Lotus-Eating")

"After God, long live wine."

Rosalia de Castro
(02/24/1837 – 07/15/1885)
Spanish writer ("Follas novas")

"The lot of critics is to be remembered by what they failed to understand."

George Augustus Moore
(02/24/1852 – 01/21/1933)
Irish writer ("Confessions of a Young Man")

"Things were changing fast by that time, women were beginning to come to the ball parks. We had to stop cussing."

Honus Wagner
(02/24/1874 – 12/06/1955)
US baseball player

"Clothes make the poor invisible. America has the best-dressed poverty the world has ever known."

Michael Harrington
(02/24/1928 – 07/31/1989)
US writer ("The Other America")

"Who ever wins today will win the championship no matter who wins."

Denis Law
(02/24/1940 – )
Scottish football player

"Every songwriter lives to have at least one song that a cab driver who asks 'You write anything I know?' will recognize. If I were still touring with that song, my teeth might clench at its mention—but I've done a lot since then."

Rupert Holmes
(02/24/1947 – )
English songwriter , on 'The Pina Colada Song' (he also wrote "Timothy")

"There are two kinds of music: the blues, and that bullsh*t they play on MTV."

George Thorogood
(02/24/1950 – )
US singer, guitarist ("Bad to the Bone")

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex—no matter what she's reading."

Steve Jobs
(02/24/1955 – 10/05/2011)
US entrepreneur

"The secret of a long life is knowing when it's time to go."

Michelle Shocked
(02/24/1962 – )
US singer, songwriter ("Jump Jim Crow")

"Perhaps it is the expediency in the political eye that blinds it."

Virgilia Peterson
(05/16/1904 – 02/24/1966)
US writer

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

Mitch Hedberg
(02/24/1968 – 03/30/2005)
US comic ("Why I Hate Dreaming")

"On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks."

H. Allen Smith
(12/19/1907 – 02/24/1976)
US writer ("Low Man on a Totem Pole")

"By the time we've made it, we've had it."

Malcolm Forbes
(08/19/1919 – 02/24/1990)
US gazillionaire
(son of B. C. Forbes)

"Americans are the most over-entertained people on the face of the earth."

Johnnie Ray
(01/10/1927 – 02/24/1990)
US singer ("Cry")

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."

George Gobel
(05/20/1919 – 02/24/1991)
US comedian ("Autumn & School")

"Bing Crosby sings like all people think they sing in the shower."

Dinah Shore
(02/29/1916 – 02/24/1994)
US singer ("Blues in the Night")
(died near her birthday)

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Henny Youngman
(03/16/1906 – 02/24/1998)
US comedian ("Marriage & People")

"How could you not become radicalized during the Depression? You'd have to be an idiot not to be radical with 17 million unemployed."

John Randolph
(06/01/1915 – 02/24/2004)
US actor ("Seconds") , blacklisted in the 50s

"The cutting room is where you discover the optimal length of the movie."

Harold Ramis
(11/21/1944 – 02/24/2014)
US writer, actor, producer ("Ghostbusters")

"Maybe some day they'll find me behind the computer, just bones and cobwebs."

Clive Cussler
(07/15/1931 – 02/24/2020)
US writer ("Raise the Titanic!")