"Name me an Emperor who was ever struck by a cannonball."
"Come live in my heart and pay no rent."
"One of the greatest creations of the human mind is the art of reviewing books without having read them."
Georg C. Lichtenberg
"Things were changing fast by that time, women were beginning to come to the ball parks. We had to stop cussing."
US baseball player
"Clothes make the poor invisible. America has the best-dressed poverty the world has ever known."
"Who ever wins today will win the championship no matter who wins."
Scottish football player
"Every songwriter lives to have at least one song that a cab driver who asks 'You write anything I know?' will recognize. If I were still touring with that song, my teeth might clench at its mentionbut I've done a lot since then."
, on 'The Pina Colada Song' (he also wrote "Timothy")
"There are two kinds of music: the blues, and that bullsh*t they play on MTV."
US singer, guitarist
"My girlfriend always laughs during sexno matter what she's reading."
"The secret of a long life is knowing when it's time to go."
US singer, songwriter
"Perhaps it is the expediency in the political eye that blinds it."
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
"On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks."
H. Allen Smith
"Americans are the most over-entertained people on the face of the earth."
"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
"How could you not become radicalized during the Depression? You'd have to be an idiot not to be radical with 17 million unemployed."
(blacklisted in the 50s)
"The cutting room is where you discover the optimal length of the movie."
US writer, actor, producer
"Maybe some day they'll find me behind the computer, just bones and cobwebs."