"As to the evil which results from censorship, it is impossible to measure it, because it is impossible to tell where it ends."
("Short Review of the Declaration")
"Ah! would that we could at once paint with the eyes! In the long way, from the eye, through the arm to the pencil, how much is lost!"
("Miss Sara Sampson")
"Men do not fail; they give up trying."
US Secretary of State, Secretary of War
"You don't develop good teeth by eating mush."
Earl "Red" Blaik
US football coach
"I had to keep from laughing when a male relative of mine became concerned about how often I danced."
("15 Maiden Lane")
"English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists."
("How to be an Alien")
"Most of us women like men, you know; it's just that we find them a constant disappointment."
"Samuel Beckett once said: 'Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.'On the other hand, he SAID it."
"Even though I make those movies, I find myself wishing that more of those magic moments could happen in real life."
"I pledge impertinence to the flag waving, of the unindicted co-conspirators of America, and to the republicans for which I can't stand, one abomination, underhanded fraud, indefensible, with Liberty and Justice... Forget it."
US cartoonist; Simpsons creator
"In the land of the skunks, he who has half a nose is king."
US comic, actor (SNL)
, paraphrasing Erasmus
"It is usually when men are at their most religious that they behave with the least sense and the most cruelty."
("The Animal Kingdom")