"Every man who rises above the common level has received two educations: the first from his teachers; the second, more personal and important, from himself."
"By the time your life is finished, you will have learned just enough to begin it well." *
English-born socialist, writer, philanthropist
(daughter of Karl Marx)
"Right or wrong, the customer is always right."
"I remember Tallulah telling of going into a public ladies' room and discovering there was no toilet tissue. She looked underneath the booth and said to the lady in the next stall, 'I beg your pardon, do you happen to have any toilet tissue in there?' The lady said no. So Tallulah said, 'Well, then, dahling, do you have two fives for a ten?"
"The game was closer than the score indicated."
US baseball player
, on losing 1-0
"The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people."
"The thing to do [for insomnia] is to get an opera score and read that. That will bore you to death."
"Every car has a lot of speed in it. The trick is getting the speed out of it."
A. J. Foyt
"Work for the fun of it, and the money will arrive someday."
"Values are principles and ideas that bring meaning to the seemingly mundane experience of life. A meaningful life that ultimately brings happiness and pride requires you to respond to temptations as well as challenges with honor, dignity, and courage."
US entertainer, fake doctor
"In France, I'm an auteur; in Germany, a filmmaker; in Britain, a genre film director; and, in the USA, a bum."
"I asked my wife to try anal sex. She said, 'Sure. You first.'"
Russian violinist, conductor, composer
, to his orchestra
"It's a sin to be tired."
"An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes."
"The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yoghurt."
Sir John Mortimer
English barrister, writer