"In those days, there was one secret to making good comedy. If it made the audience laugh, it was a good comedy."
"If there is a special Hell for writers it would be in the forced contemplation of their own works."
John Dos Passos
"If you want to achieve excellence, you can get there today. As of this second, quit doing less-than-excellent work."
Thomas John Watson, Jr.
US businessman (IBM president)
"I recognize my limits but when I look around I realise I am not living exactly in a world of giants."
Italian Prime Minister
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
US TV commentator
"I don't think you'll have to worry that this mental midget, this hillbilly Hitler from Alabama, is anywhere near becoming the nominee of the Democratic Party."
US Rep (GA)
, on George Wallace running for president
"You can tell any story in a Western. How can you not be fascinated by them?"
US writer, director
"Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial."
Sydney Biddle Barrows
"Reality shows are all the rage on TV at the moment... but that's not reality, it's just another aesthetic form of fiction."
"I was a normal, rather dutiful child. I didn't even rebel as a teenager."
"I think when you move past your fear and you go after your dreams wholeheartedly, you become free. Know what I'm saying? Move past the fear."
LL Cool J
US rapper, actor
"I'd love it if everyone knew one Foo Fighters song."
US musician (Nirvana, Foo Fighters)
"If I was going to be broke I decided I might as well be with actors as anyone else. They were cheerful idiots and seemed to take it better."
"Excuses are the tools with which persons with no purpose in view build for themselves great monuments of nothing."
"Are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?"
US restaurant magnate (McDonald's)
"When Mr. Wilbur calls his play 'Halfway to Hell,' he underestimates the distance."
US journalist, critic
"If nuclear power plants are safe, let the commercial insurance industry insure them. Until these most expert judges of risk are willing to gamble with their money, I'm not willing to gamble with the health and safety of my family."
"There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be said by words.The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot successfully be put into equations, because it is nonsense."
("Essays in the History of Mechanics")
"Nobody ever learns how. The search for human behavior is infinite. You'll never understand it all. I think that's wonderful."
, on acting
(same dates as Anthony Eden;
was married to Jose Ferrer)
"I always thought that menopause meant a pause between men."
"I do feel more myself in America. I can regress there, and they have roller-coaster parks."