"The turgid style of Johnson, the purple glare of Gibbon, and even the studied and thickset metaphors of Junius are all equally unnatural, and should not be admitted into our company."
US physician, statesman
("Medical Inquiries and Observations upon Diseases of the Mind")
"Robert Benchley has a style that is weak and lies down frequently to rest."
("Great Companions: Critical Memoirs of Some Famous Friends")
"In case it is one of mine." *
Augustus Edwin John
, patting the head of a child in Chelsea as he passed by
"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times."
US senator (IL)
"For her fifth wedding, the bride wore black and carried a scotch and soda."
"Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck."
US football coach
"There is so much hate among people, so much contempt inside people who'd like you to think they're moral, that they have to hire prizefighters to do their hating for them. And we do. We get into a ring and act out other people's hates."
"Since every record surely contains something offensive to someone, sticker them all. Make this as meaningless as the bar code."
, on warning labels for music
"She was every bandleader's dream, a vocalist who had natural talent, a keen regard for the lyrics, and an attractive appearance."
, on Doris Day
"Stories ought not to be just little bits of fantasy that are used to while away an idle hour; from the beginning of the human race stories have been usedby priests, by bards, by medicine menas magic instruments of healing, of teaching, as a means of helping people come to terms with the fact that they continually have to face insoluble problems and unbearable realities."
Joan Delano Aiken
("The Wolves of Willoughby Chase")
"Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny."
US writer, educator
"When you argue with your inferiors, you convince them of only one thing: they are as clever as you."
("The Improved Binoculars: Selected Poems")